DONALD TRUMP’S SHORT FINGERS: A HISTORICAL ANALYSIS

Ever since Spy magazine first labeled Donald Trump a “short-fingered vulgarian” in the 1980s, the licensing maven and President has been pushing back, insisting with trademark bravado that his fingers are, in fact, “not so short." He has even claimed, though never in the presence of rulers, yardsticks, or tape measures, that “my fingers are long and beautiful, as, has been well-documented, are various other parts of my body.” Now, thanks to months of exhaustive research, VF.com has uncovered photographic evidence that we believe will settle the question of Trump’s finger length once and for all. (Note: this project was underwritten in part by a generous grant from the California Baby Carrot Growers Association.)

Author: Brice Handy | Photography: Getty Images, Corbis

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“O.K., you, in the third row… Yes, you… I’m calling on you… Yes, that’s why I’m pointing… I’m pointing with my finger… My FINGER. This one… Why would you think I’m holding up a cocktail frank?”

In Iowa last January, Trump regales voters with a humanizing personal anecdote about how he once bit his right index finger after mistaking it for a half-eaten French fry.

A wax figure of “Duke” Wayne looks on in disgust as Trump strains to reach his fingers all the way around daughter Aissa Wayne’s frankly rather petite shoulder. (Fun fact: you could load the barrel of Wayne’s pistol with 14 of Trump’s pinkies.)

As Trump talks straight through a lunch-hour town hall in February, hungry New Hampshire voters appear mesmerized by the five chicken-tender-like appendages radiating from his sausage-patty-size palm.

Greeting voters in Iowa City, Trump surreptitiously compares his hand to a baby’s, a smile of satisfaction and relief slowly spreading across his face.

At the 1990 grand opening of the Trump Taj Mahal Casino Hotel in Atlantic City, wee hands try to summon a genie from a giant lamp. “It’s the motion,” Trump gamely jokes.

At a recent G.O.P. debate in Las Vegas, Trump’s “fun-size” grip fails to circumnavigate Chris Christie’s big, beefy palm. Trump attempts to regain alpha-male status by showing the New Jersey governor his impression of a Doberman pinscher wagging its docked tail.

An interesting optical illusion: Trump’s left hand is actually in the foreground of the picture!

More ugly politics in South Carolina: Trump is forced to refute rumors, traced back to the Cruz campaign, that his fingers aren’t long enough for Christian prayer.

Trump pretends to enjoy a pork chop on a stick at the 2015 Iowa State Fair, probably the one place on Earth where people won’t mistake a pork chop on a stick for Trump’s third hand.

In costume with actress Megan Mullally at the 2005 Emmys, Trump wows an audience of hardened entertainment professionals by wrapping his fingers nearly all the way around a pitchfork.

Some pundits have attributed candidate Trump’s hawkishness to the fact that, even though his fingers have as many joints as a normal man’s, they remain at least an inch short of being able to form a proper peace sign.

Nothing much to say about the fingers in this picture; just curious why Trump’s “mouth” face hasn’t also become a thing.

To this day, clubhouse attendants maintain that Trump had to be outfitted with a Babe Ruth Jr. Youth League glove for this 1991 appearance at Yankee Stadium.

At this 2005 gala, Trump, thinking quickly, uses both hands to keep wife Melania from getting a good look at the size of a single Puff Daddy hand.

Trump’s delicate right hand is nearly crushed by his nine-year-old daughter Ivanka’s huge, burly mitt at a 1991 event.

Presented without comment.